Rage and despair

The newspapers reported yesterday about an American Indian girl who was raped by

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6 of her ‘friends’. They mixed something in her drinks and she passed out. I felt great anguish and pain for the ‘victim’ and a greater sense of anger at the world and society at large because something like this happened again. Such betrayal.

This morning the newspapers reported the statements of 3 of the accused that have been caught so far. They said “we did not think she will complain. We did not therefore threaten her to leave town. We gave her emergency contraceptive pill….” My pain and anguish changed to rage and despair. The audacity of the guys… they felt no remorse, no guilt!!!

As I was mulling over this it occurred to me that they were emboldened because they thought they had gotten away with it. And it occurred to me that this is how perpetrators and habitual offenders are created…. Not just in rape but in life, in society.

When we don’t complain, when we don’t stand up against the bully in school,

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when we don’t stand our ground against a rude boss, when we accept an abusive relationship as our destiny, when we look the other way in domestic violence. When we don’t speak up and be heard, we disempower ourselves and make the other person more powerful. When we choose to be victims through our silence we create a perpetrator who will strike again.

Ours is a society and culture that has made a virtue out of Un-questioned acceptance of events as ‘kismet’, fate. We forgive we don’t fight back we say “chalta hai” (it’s ok, shit happens). And yet there are a few, who have not given in, a few people who have stood up and fought back.

People like Neelam Katara who soldiers on in her fight for her murdered son, Kavi

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ta Gadgil who fought to restore the honour of her dead fighter pilot son, Jessica lalls sister who fought for justice for her murdered sister, the old mother who continues to fight Shibu Soren, Priyadarshini Mattu rape and murder, Aman Kachru ragging death… these are cases when people stood up and found supporters, these are people who asked questions and did not relent till the answers were found, justice was done. These are ordinary people who are doing out-of the -orninary things in life. They are not just taking it on the Chin but giving it back.

There is a new India out there, an India that throws shoes at political leaders when they field tainted candidates, they send pink chaddies(panties) to protest unwarranted moral policing, they keep candle lit vigils for a slain hero, they protest when the government is going soft on terrorism. I want to be a part of this India, the non-accepting demanding India where no one can say “Chalta Hai” any more.

I am joining FIGHTBACK, dedicated to fighting gender violence. Read their hard hitting article on Rape here:
http://fightbackindia.blogspot.com/2009/04/have-you-been-raped-yet.html

They are on face book. I am signing up. What is stopping you?

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Come on India throw shoes, send chaddies, light candles, hold rallies, form human chains, speak up, blog, vote, do whatever you can, but let them never again feel “we thought they won’t complain”

Fight Back.

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to be or not to be...

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... is that really a question any more? especially when it comes to social media? I used to find it a little strange, unnerving even, may be I still do, to share my thoughts and put them up on a public platform.

So What made me over some my initial hesitation? Because to me it provides a powerful medium to reach out to like minded people without making any changes to my current life style. It's a little like travelling on trains to Mumbai and back when we were younger, everyone in the coach used to really 'travel' together, chit chat a little, share anecdotes, wisdom, opinions and food (! and boy you could not refuse what was offered), and then went their way once the train arrived at the platform... But it sure made the journey unforgettable and rich.

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So here is hoping for a great ride together.


Come walk with me, and talk awhile, One day at a time (Courtsey: Helen Auclair).